He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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