i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
