Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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