Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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