She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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