I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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