Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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