Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
