Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
