so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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