I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
