my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
MIDGETS
????
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
