Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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