great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
