I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
