Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
