If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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