i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
