Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize