Will you blow on my dice?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is Oprah even human
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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