I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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