yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
