Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
