i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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