oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
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