dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
