How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
