Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
