I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
