So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
