..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
