do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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