My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
