Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It's Friday. Sex?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize