she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
