dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
