It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
MIDGETS
????
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
