NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What changed your mind?
Being sober
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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