I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
