We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
