I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
