you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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