ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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