after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
