she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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