I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
