i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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