im gay
i know
yea but for you.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She announced her abortion via fbk
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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