I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
