:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
